Strange days… (cue music)

My dad is in the hospital; and he isn’t doing well. This has been going on for a few weeks now really. Nothing new really, the cumulative effects of congestive heart failure & diabetes, and now he’s in renal failure. His sister Virginia, thankfully, has been managing his care, and I’m sure the whole family has been grateful for her; I know I have been. She’s clearly a force to be reckoned with, a woman who, simply, gets things done.

Anyone who knows me knows my relationship with my father has been rocky. Saying I left home at 16 says a lot, but not nearly enough. While my father and I never really resolved anything openly, over the years I’ve gotten enough closure that it was just not important to me anymore.

But knowing how fragile he is now, and not likely to improve all that much over the next few months or weeks that he might have left, still fills me with feelings of sadness over how things could have been different. It’s not about being angry now, because I’m not. It’s just sad.